Dear LIFE,
Must you be so unpredictable? Please arrange things to go according to my plans from now on. It is really frustrating when I have everything in order, and then you come and mess it up. It almost seems like you're laughing at me. I will assume that you aren't, because that's just mean.
Also, in the future I would like at least a short notice of any minor or major disasters that you are planning to throw at me. It really isn't fair for you to just expect me to deal with it out of the blue. It's like a house guest showing up unannounced with a suitcase on your doorstep.....very rude. In fact, I think we should work on your manners altogether, because now that I think about it, they really are terrible.
Sincerely,
Me