Second Chances

I used to be really stringent when it came to giving people second chances. I've always had the "fool me once.." mentality. Of course, I still have that in regards to boyfriends & dating, but I think I've got to slacken up a bit when it comes to friendships. People do change...I know I am always changing, growing & learning, and I am certainly not always perfect. After having someone contact me after 2+ years, in what seemed to be a earnest attempt at reviving something that I thought was dead, I am left second guessing my strict no second chances rule. I guess the bottom line is that people need each other. We need each other not only because we are social creatures by nature, but because we as humans have an innate need to relate to one another on some level. I'd be remiss to discount someone who needed me, for whatever reason, even if it's only for awhile. It goes back to acting with the right intentions, and letting go beyond that. If it doesn't work out, that's ok..but like I said before, I think to not reach out based on the possibility of the outcome not aligning with what I think should happen, is a huge and terrible mistake. If there is anything worth taking a risk on, I think it's got to be each other, right? If we didn't, the opportunity for people to surprise us would be gone, and if we weren’t pleasantly surprised by people, where would our faith in humanity come from? Something to think about, anyway...

We Plan, and God Laughs

I had one of those moments today where I looked up at the sky, nodded, and chuckled at the way things worked out. This usually happens when I am able to connect the dots between what I have done, and what is currently happening , or being done to me. A glimmer of understanding. Karma, basically.
Long story short, I gave a loan a week ago. Yesterday, I got a raise. Today when I was figuring out my projected savings for the year, I realized that the extra money I will be able to save from getting a raise is the EXACT amount I loaned. How crazy is that?! Within a week? The funny thing is that every time, and I mean EVERY time I donate money to causes, or whatever...I never seem to take a loss on that. I always get it back. It's kind of creepy, but in a good way. Truthfully, it probably just goes to show how unimportant money really is, and I'd like to think that whoever is keeping things in balance takes pleasure in surprising me this way. Too many of us, myself included, have anxiety over the money we have or don't have, how much we will or won't have, how much we save & how much we spend...who would have thought that giving it away would be the cure? But...........on second thought, it makes sense, because money really has nothing to do with being rich.

Tony Hayward, the rest of BP, TransOcean, and Haliburton...HOW DO YOU SLEEP AT NIGHT?

What a flippin' disgrace. The more failed attempts that go by the fix this spill (which shouldn't even be referred to as a spill, but more of a continually gushing torrent), the more upset I get that all of these assholes are just sitting around in their big leather chairs pointing fingers at each other. You "want your life back" Tony? Really??? Hmmm....so do all of the creatures in the pictures below. Perhaps if the dollar signs hadn't sent you into such a blinding euphoria you wouldn't have facilitated all of the corruption going on within the Mineral Management Service. I mean, did we really expect for a disaster NOT to happen when somehow you are allowed to file YOUR OWN inspection reports??? And to the MMS....were the gifts worth it, scumbags? Unbelievable.
Check out the pictures from the link and tell me if it looks like the environmental impact of this disaster has been "very, very modest".
You know, this is the disgusting corruption that Obama said he wanted to tackle when he was campaigning, and I would love nothing more than to see him crack down HARD on these idiots.....still waiting.
And you know what else is bullshit? Our friends at BP started running a $50,000,000 advertising campaign yesterday, yet 5th generation fisherman who have lost their livelihoods have only received $5k. Again...unbelievable. And yet, BP, the federal government, TransOcean & Haliburton seem to be constantly proving that what we thought to be unbelievable is actually just all in a day's work for them.

(Photo above from cnn.com)

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2010/05/03/gulf-oil-spill-photos-ani_n_560813.html

My "Happy Place"

Happiness isn't about money or stuff or circumstance, or even love. Happiness is about ME. I LOVE that I get to make the choice every day to be happy. :)

Hope

Hope keeps me going. Hope keeps me moving forward, promising that something bigger and better is possible. While having hope is uplifting, the trepidation caused by the expectations I put on hope is exhausting. My habit is to have hope invested in a situation or person to the point that I am disappointed by the outcome if it doesn't go the way I think it should. I lean towards feeling like a fool for being hopeful that a better outcome was possible. I tend to forget that the simple act of having hope is what inspires us as individuals to reach out to one another. The fact is that once we reach out, our job is done. We can't be responsible for what happens after we reach out. All we can do is remain hopeful that change is possible. We can extend the faith that hope is possible to each other, and maybe the simple act of being hopeful about someone's situation is enough to inspire change. To lose hope is to give up. To punish yourself for having hope only facilitates cynicism and resentment. As I get older I have to remind myself a lot more to keep being hopeful. The more life experience I gain, the more I am exposed to the reality that things don't always work out the way you want them to! Everything is unpredictable. My dad would say "it doesn't have to make sense". And nothing ever does have to make sense, and a lot of things don't, and never will. We weren't born having been promised clarity about everything. I'd like to learn to need less control and have more hope. In doing so, I'll allow myself to want for the absolute best...but I will lose the responsibility that I always seem to take on for the outcome. At least in situations pertaining to other people. As for myself...well, I'm the ONLY one responsible, obviously. I've written about this before, but that's because it's so difficult! You think you have a handle on something, and when you get it all figured out, you assume it's done and over. I'm finding that just isn't the truth.
Knowing is only half the battle.

Chloe Ellen (Memorial Day)