
Hope keeps me going. Hope keeps me moving forward, promising that something bigger and better is possible. While having hope is uplifting, the trepidation caused by the expectations I put on hope is exhausting. My habit is to have hope invested in a situation or person to the point that I am disappointed by the outcome if it doesn't go the way I think it should. I lean towards feeling like a fool for being hopeful that a better outcome was possible. I tend to forget that the simple act of having hope is what inspires us as individuals to reach out to one another. The fact is that once we reach out, our job is done. We can't be responsible for what happens after we reach out. All we can do is remain hopeful that change is possible. We can extend the faith that hope is possible to each other, and maybe the simple act of being hopeful about
someone's situation is enough to inspire change. To lose hope is to give up. To punish yourself for having hope only facilitates cynicism and resentment. As I get older I have to remind myself a lot more to keep being hopeful. The more life experience I gain, the more I am exposed to the reality that things don't always work out the way you want them to! Everything is unpredictable. My dad would say "it doesn't have to make sense". And nothing ever does have to make sense, and a lot of things don't, and never will. We weren't born having been promised clarity about everything. I'd like to learn to need less control and have more hope. In doing so, I'll allow myself to want for the absolute best...but I will lose the responsibility that I always seem to take on for the outcome. At least in situations pertaining to other people. As for myself...well, I'm the ONLY one responsible, obviously. I've written about this before, but that's because it's so difficult! You think you have a handle on something, and when you get it all figured out, you assume it's done and over. I'm finding that just isn't the truth.
Knowing is only half the battle.